( There's a soft smile at that even through the ache. She doesn't like to see Clara cry, but it's better to get it all out than hold it all in, than to be consumed by those powerful and painful feelings. Her throat locks, and she squeezes Clara's hand abruptly. )
Think that's what it's all about, isn't it? ( She lifts her glass again, tipping it toward Clara. )
Taking pieces whenever and wherever you can. I existed endlessly and nothing really meant shit then. It's the brevity of living that makes those moments, those pieces worth everything. They're not worth less because they don't last forever. They're worth more because of that.
You take those pieces in spite of knowing it'll hurt like hell later. ( And she's had plenty of pieces of happiness through the time she spent living in the world, she wouldn't trade that for another hundred years in the Underworld where nothing ever changed or moved or grew. )
[ Red's words sink in and hit home, reminding her that if things were different, she'd be the one hurting the Doctor one day, too mortal to give him a forever. With a deep breath, Clara lets it out shakily, wiping underneath her eyes with one thumb. ]
No more of this shit, I didn't ask you over to cry. I'm drunk, I want cupcakes, and I wanna be with you—not crying. Something else, what else?
[ Reaching out, she takes a cupcake and swipes off the frosting because maybe...maybe the cupcakes were an excuse to eat that. Licking it off her finger, she definitely does not seem to care. ]
Do you even like cupcakes? I didn't ask. Do you want ham? That's back in there.
[ She flaps her hand behind her, back toward the kitchen. She's determined not to backslide all the way into this mess of feelings for the Doctor. Maybe she can do that with Red's help. ]
( Red's gaze drags over Clara's face as she wipes her tears away, and her expression shows she doesn't mind the tears - not in the slightest. Emotions are valid, and she's glad she feels safe enough to share them with her.
Then her gaze drops to Clara's finger, to the frosting, to the way she licks it off her finger, drawing attention to her mouth. There is a tiny smirk that tugs across her face. )
...something else, huh?
Haven't had many cupcakes in my life so jury's out. ( She indicates the cupcake in Clara's hand. ) Can I?
[ Clara's eyes widen, tears forgotten at the thought of Red not having had plenty of good cupcakes. And honestly, she hasn't lived until she's had Clara's cupcakes with the fresh frosting. ]
This is a wrong that has to righted. Now. You more than can. You really need to, honestly.
[ She could just pass over the cupcake, but instead, she breaks off a piece and holds it out for Red, meeting her gaze with a smile that finishes erasing the melancholy. ]
Just in case you hate it, you don't waste my amazing baking efforts.
( Red leans over to take a bite of the offered cupcake - her mouth brushing against the fingers Clara holds the cupcake with before she tastes it. )
Holy shit. That's delicious.
( Her gaze lifts from the cupcake before it lands on Clara's mouth, and she leans in toward her with the understanding that Clara is very drunk so she plans to keep things a bit tame, but also she'd like to kiss her at least if she'd like that.
Just cause she's beautiful, and they relate, and they only really have now- this moment. )
[ First, she's grinning because Red likes her cupcakes; when she cooks or bakes, she really does put love into it. Even when she mass produces.
If forced to tell the truth, Clara would admit that back when the two of them were rowing to the abandoned home, the thought (the want) crossed her mind. But everything she just said, about being afraid, the risks, it all stopped her. She'd never been this afraid when she kissed Cassian, but right now, in this moment, she's terrified. She cares as deeply for Red as she can feel for anyone, no more walls, nothing kept hidden away. Drunk or not, her heart makes the decision for her like it always does and always will, no matter what she tries to say to the contrary.
She keeps the kiss tame too, and it's enough to make some of the tension of her night in the woods finally recede. Still, she does what she's wanted since she first time saw Red's big, wonderful hair. One hand reaches out, and she carefully pushes her hand into it, letting it get lost in a sea of red. She knows how to navigate wild curls, Sabine's hair was insanity, and so Clara's careful. Just for a second, she breaks the kiss to make sure it's still okay, then kisses Red again, just as gently.
Red is right; maybe Clara's heart will break again, but it's better than never letting herself have anything. ]
( Once Red sees Clara is receptive, she deepens the kiss against her mouth. Her hand lifts to cup the side of her face, and she tilts her head to the side to kiss her harder, further. She smiles against her mouth, warm and right and there. She doesn't want to kiss her too much while Clara's still drunk and might regret it when Clara's sober, but she feels so good and wonderful.
She breathes her in, leaning into her touch into her hair. When she pulls back, she smiles. It's more than okay. It's what she wanted to, and she's there to meet her again. Her own hand lifts to frame the side of her face as she kisses her that second time so gently. )
Hi. This is a very good something.
( And she covers her mouth with her own again pressing her back on to the couch. )
[ A bubble of laughter escapes against Red's mouth, even as Clara's pushed back. She was crying not even five minutes ago, but it doesn't have to be that way. If nothing else, this is a reminder that it's okay to feel deeply, to love hard while she can, because she isn't herself if she's not. ]
Hi. I agree. This is a very good something that I—
[ Clara's pulled back just enough to be able to look at Red before continuing. ]
Fuck it, I wanted to do this back on the boat. You make me laugh, you see me, and that last part, that scared the shit out of me, but I don't...I can't be afraid anymore, Red.
( Red pulls back, meets her gaze, and then smiles at what she says, lifting an eyebrow, seeming very pleased by this revelation. She brushes some of the hair from Clara's face, fingertips linger against her cheekbone. )
Since the boat, huh?
It's still probably gonna be scary as shit, y'know? ( Nothing is guaranteed but that's true everywhere. ) But you don't have to let that keep you from what you want, no. Shouldn't hide that heart of yours.
[ Clara's quiet, letting Red's words linger while pressing her cheek just a little into the soft touch. ]
I know what could happen, but I wanna be happy. And you make me happy, Red. Just seeing your face tonight made me happy in a way I haven't felt in a really long time.
[ Maybe one day Red will leave again, but then, maybe Clara will. But maybe for now, they can be brave together. ]
( That makes Red's smile warm due to the wonderful simplicity of it. She's not used to being that kind of person for someone else. She'd isolated for awhile, always on the run. )
Happiness it is then. ( They can both choose that. Hell knows Clara derves that - to be happy. ) Cupcakes and kisses then.
( Seems like a beautiful way to spend the evening along with making sure neither of them get so drunk they wind up with any type of hangover. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Think that's what it's all about, isn't it? ( She lifts her glass again, tipping it toward Clara. )
Taking pieces whenever and wherever you can. I existed endlessly and nothing really meant shit then. It's the brevity of living that makes those moments, those pieces worth everything. They're not worth less because they don't last forever. They're worth more because of that.
You take those pieces in spite of knowing it'll hurt like hell later. ( And she's had plenty of pieces of happiness through the time she spent living in the world, she wouldn't trade that for another hundred years in the Underworld where nothing ever changed or moved or grew. )
no subject
No more of this shit, I didn't ask you over to cry. I'm drunk, I want cupcakes, and I wanna be with you—not crying. Something else, what else?
[ Reaching out, she takes a cupcake and swipes off the frosting because maybe...maybe the cupcakes were an excuse to eat that. Licking it off her finger, she definitely does not seem to care. ]
Do you even like cupcakes? I didn't ask. Do you want ham? That's back in there.
[ She flaps her hand behind her, back toward the kitchen. She's determined not to backslide all the way into this mess of feelings for the Doctor. Maybe she can do that with Red's help. ]
no subject
Then her gaze drops to Clara's finger, to the frosting, to the way she licks it off her finger, drawing attention to her mouth. There is a tiny smirk that tugs across her face. )
...something else, huh?
Haven't had many cupcakes in my life so jury's out. ( She indicates the cupcake in Clara's hand. ) Can I?
๐
This is a wrong that has to righted. Now. You more than can. You really need to, honestly.
[ She could just pass over the cupcake, but instead, she breaks off a piece and holds it out for Red, meeting her gaze with a smile that finishes erasing the melancholy. ]
Just in case you hate it, you don't waste my amazing baking efforts.
๐๐
Holy shit. That's delicious.
( Her gaze lifts from the cupcake before it lands on Clara's mouth, and she leans in toward her with the understanding that Clara is very drunk so she plans to keep things a bit tame, but also she'd like to kiss her at least if she'd like that.
Just cause she's beautiful, and they relate, and they only really have now- this moment. )
no subject
If forced to tell the truth, Clara would admit that back when the two of them were rowing to the abandoned home, the thought (the want) crossed her mind. But everything she just said, about being afraid, the risks, it all stopped her. She'd never been this afraid when she kissed Cassian, but right now, in this moment, she's terrified. She cares as deeply for Red as she can feel for anyone, no more walls, nothing kept hidden away. Drunk or not, her heart makes the decision for her like it always does and always will, no matter what she tries to say to the contrary.
She keeps the kiss tame too, and it's enough to make some of the tension of her night in the woods finally recede. Still, she does what she's wanted since she first time saw Red's big, wonderful hair. One hand reaches out, and she carefully pushes her hand into it, letting it get lost in a sea of red. She knows how to navigate wild curls, Sabine's hair was insanity, and so Clara's careful. Just for a second, she breaks the kiss to make sure it's still okay, then kisses Red again, just as gently.
Red is right; maybe Clara's heart will break again, but it's better than never letting herself have anything. ]
no subject
She breathes her in, leaning into her touch into her hair. When she pulls back, she smiles. It's more than okay. It's what she wanted to, and she's there to meet her again. Her own hand lifts to frame the side of her face as she kisses her that second time so gently. )
Hi. This is a very good something.
( And she covers her mouth with her own again pressing her back on to the couch. )
no subject
Hi. I agree. This is a very good something that I—
[ Clara's pulled back just enough to be able to look at Red before continuing. ]
Fuck it, I wanted to do this back on the boat. You make me laugh, you see me, and that last part, that scared the shit out of me, but I don't...I can't be afraid anymore, Red.
no subject
Since the boat, huh?
It's still probably gonna be scary as shit, y'know? ( Nothing is guaranteed but that's true everywhere. ) But you don't have to let that keep you from what you want, no. Shouldn't hide that heart of yours.
no subject
I know what could happen, but I wanna be happy. And you make me happy, Red. Just seeing your face tonight made me happy in a way I haven't felt in a really long time.
[ Maybe one day Red will leave again, but then, maybe Clara will. But maybe for now, they can be brave together. ]
no subject
Happiness it is then. ( They can both choose that. Hell knows Clara derves that - to be happy. ) Cupcakes and kisses then.
( Seems like a beautiful way to spend the evening along with making sure neither of them get so drunk they wind up with any type of hangover. )